


Habits

by quartzguts



Category: Final Fantasy X
Genre: Lucid Dreaming, M/M, Memories, Multi, Nightmares, two sort of related drabbles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-07-19 18:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19978708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzguts/pseuds/quartzguts
Summary: Auron sees them in his dreams.





	1. In Zanarkand

**Author's Note:**

> these are two oneshots that have the same theme (they are basically the same fic except one is set in zanarkand and the other is in spira) so, i'm uh, posting them together i guess

\---

"Make me the fayth!" Jecht says, and Auron tries to scream  _ no, don't do it, you'll become Sin and the cycle will just begin again _ \- but he can't. There's water filling his lungs, taking away his air, and black splotches are starting to appear in his vision when Braska answers with a solemn "there's always a chance it won't come back this time."

_ No, you're wrong, it'll come back and it'll be Jecht  _ \- but he still can't find the words. He screams instead.

"Auron!"

That isn't Braska. Or Jecht. The voice is familiar, it's comforting, but it isn't what he wants to hear as the two men he loves most in the world walk into Yunalesca's chamber and leave him behind, leave him alone.

Someone grabs his shoulder. One of Yunalesca's fiends? He tries to shake it off, so he can run after them and make them see sense, but its grip is strong. That witch, Auron thinks, she can't take them away from him a second time, he won't let her, he won't -

"Auron! Wake up!"

_ Tidus. _

Auron snaps awake and sits up. Tidus jumps, startled, but his hand is quickly back on Auron's shoulder. This time it's there to comfort instead of shake. Auron breathes heavily, his good eye darting around the room. It's the same room he's slept in for nearly ten years now, the one which used to belong to Jecht and his wife, in the boat he shares with Jecht's son.

Tidus clears his throat next to him. "What were you dreaming about?"

He completely skipped the usual  _ are you alright _ question. Auron groans. Maybe he’s gotten tired of asking.

Tidus shifts so he's sitting criss cross on the bed next to him. "Auron?"

"I don't remember," Auron says. Tidus sighs the same way he always does when he knows Auron is lying, but he doesn't say anything. Instead he jumps off the bed and goes to the door.

"I'm gonna make eggs and bacon. Want some?"

Auron rubs at his eye. To his disgust, but not surprise, there's tears welling in the corner. "Breakfast this early?"

Tidus smiles a little. "I figure it might help you cheer up."

Unlikely, but Auron caves anyway. He kicks the covers off and goes to follow Tidus out of the room. "Make some coffee, too, will you?"

\---


	2. In Spira

\---

Auron always sleeps lightly. He doesn't know if it's force of habit or just that ghosts don't need to sleep, but he never ends up drifting too far away. Of course, this means the slightest sounds jolt him awake, whether it's the innocent shifting of a comrade in sleep or a fiend getting ready to attack.

The constant back and forth between wakefulness and sleep make his dreams an awkward mix of reality and fantasy. He's aware of the press of bedsheets against his skin, the cool nighttime breeze blowing in through the open window, the darkness of the room. But he also feels a warm touch on his back, lips on his own, hears gentle things whispered in his ear. He feels and hears and sometimes even sees them lying beside him in his inn standard bed. It's almost enough to convince him they're real. Almost.

But they're not. Another curse, or maybe it's a blessing, of not really needing to sleep. Auron knows Braska is dead and Jecht is Sin, and they’ve been that way for a long time, so they can't really be here next to him. He's always alone in his bed in a room he shares with whoever he'd drawn lots with that night; tonight it's Tidus, who's snoring softly in the other bed only a few feet away. Auron shifts around, trying to get comfortable, but the featherlight touches his memory forces on him keep stroking his hair and his face, keep pressing kisses all over his body. Keep making him feel things that aren't there.

Someone drops something in the hallway. It makes a clang as it hits the ground. Auron snaps awake, then sits up and groans, pressing his palms into his eyelids. Tidus sits up in his own bed with a sleepy "what was that," all slurred together so Auron can barely understand him.

Auron glances over to tell him it was just someone dropping a metal plate on the tile floor - he recognizes the sound now that he's thought about it - when he sees Tidus's face. He's frowning.

"Are you alright?" Tidus asks. "You haven't had a nightmare like that in a while." He looks far more concerned than he should be for a man like Auron. A man who's already dead.

Auron regards him. Tidus looks like Jecht in some ways; the curve of his face, his posture, the way he moves his hands when he talks.

"I'm fine," Auron forces out. "Go back to sleep."

He flips over to face the window. It's several moments before he hears Tidus lay back down in his own bed, and even more before the quiet snoring returns.

Auron lies awake the rest of the night, staring resolutely at the open night sky through the window, and resolves himself never to sleep again.

He has no need for memories.

\---


End file.
